written by David Flanagan
Many people celebrate the new year by writing down a list of new goals and resolutions for change — I’m going to lose ten pounds. I’m going to be a better parent. I’m going to wake up earlier and go running. And more often than not, even the most well-meaning advocate for change somehow finds themselves right back where they started, living each day like they did the year before and the year before that.
Why does it have to be that way? Why can’t we just make up our minds to change and then change once and for all? It doesn’t seem fair. The fact that our well-devised New Year’s resolutions get tossed out the window by early February isn’t for lack of sincerity. It isn’t because we are bad people. Or even weak-willed. There is just something deep within us that resists change. Perhaps it has something to do with the act of changing itself and the fact that nobody ever taught us how to do it correctly.
We are creatures of habit. And there’s good reason for this. Habits, even destructive ones, bring a high level of comfort and a sense of safety. Even when we identify the need for change in our lives and muster the desire and courage to make a change, a large part of us closes down and clings to the safety and familiarity of our old ways. Better the devil we know…than the one we don’t, right? (Actually, better that we eliminate the devil altogether.)
the truth is no matter how creative or good
we become at it, change will always be difficult.
I believe the act of change can become a habit itself. A good one. I created a large poster in my office that hangs in the kitchen for the entire staff to see on a daily basis. It says, “If it ain’t broken, break it.” This approach is based on the philosophy that we need to ruffle feathers, shake things up, and stir the pot on a regular basis to prevent getting stuck in our proverbial ruts. All kinds of new possibilities arise from an approach in which you shift directions for no particular reason other than for the sake of change itself. It may sound a bit stressful and chaotic, and it is. That’s precisely the point.
I will often take an alternate route to work or home again in conscious pursuit of this same thinking. I do it so that I am able to see the world (literally) from a fresh perspective. It keeps life more interesting. I also do weird things like shave my face starting on opposite sides, or in the middle (or not at all) for the exact same reason. For those who don’t shave their face, most people start in the exact same place each time, every single day, for their entire life. Talk about boring!
So does this approach apply to the more significant changes in life? I would be a hypocrite if I claimed it was the answer. Unfortunately, the truth is no matter how creative or good we become at it, change will always be difficult. But perhaps if we lived our lives, making little changes all the time, the big changes might become a little less frightening and easier to tackle. And when you fail, don’t give up. Change rarely happens all at once. Lasting change comes slowly, in bite-size chunks filled with a good dose of trial and error.
David Flanagan serves on the Board with Saint John’s. He is a co-owner of Misfit, a California-based brand/marketing agency. He is also the co-owner of Red Rocket AutoTech in Sacramento and Folsom.
dflanagan@agencymisfit.com
This article was originally published in our Spring 2016 ENOUGH magazine.
Responses